1
00:00:02,507 --> 00:00:04,475
- Hey, Gem.
- Hey, Tina. got this honey!
2
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,313
Come on in. I'm almost done here.
3
00:00:06,338 --> 00:00:09,514
Wow. This is the first time I've
been in the principal's office
4
00:00:09,539 --> 00:00:11,152
without being dragged in screaming,
5
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,991
"I didn't do it!"
6
00:00:14,218 --> 00:00:16,170
Hmm. Did you do it?
7
00:00:16,195 --> 00:00:17,563
Every time.
8
00:00:18,193 --> 00:00:20,150
So, where are we headin' to for lunch?
9
00:00:20,175 --> 00:00:21,617
Anywhere but the cafeteria.
10
00:00:21,642 --> 00:00:23,129
There was a food fight last week,
11
00:00:23,154 --> 00:00:26,451
- and I took a taco to the chest.
- Ooh.
12
00:00:26,833 --> 00:00:29,927
Sorry to interrupt, Gemma, but
there was an incident at lunch.
13
00:00:29,952 --> 00:00:31,617
Oh, no. How many tacos are missing,
14
00:00:31,642 --> 00:00:33,243
and how many kids were hurt?
15
00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:36,979
No, a student punched another
student in the face.
16
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,390
Aah.
17
00:00:38,415 --> 00:00:40,085
Please. Rookie mistake.
18
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:43,265
Everybody knows that body
blows are harder to prove.
19
00:00:45,685 --> 00:00:47,266
Okay, send him in, Lorraine.
20
00:00:47,342 --> 00:00:48,709
I'm sorry, Tina.
21
00:00:48,734 --> 00:00:50,515
- I just have to take care of this.
- Ah.
22
00:00:50,540 --> 00:00:52,903
You know, most of the students
here are really well-behaved,
23
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,778
but there are a few bad apples.
24
00:00:55,297 --> 00:00:56,953
Hi, Mom.
25
00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,100
He didn't do it!
26
00:01:18,335 --> 00:01:20,136
Hey, Dave.
27
00:01:21,871 --> 00:01:23,845
Hey, Calvin. Didn't see you there.
28
00:01:26,407 --> 00:01:27,905
Hey, so I, uh, heard
29
00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:30,416
Grover got into a fight
at school yesterday.
30
00:01:30,441 --> 00:01:33,802
Yeah, apparently, this kid
Justin has been bullying him.
31
00:01:33,957 --> 00:01:35,742
Pushing him, making fun of his clothes,
32
00:01:35,767 --> 00:01:37,984
which makes no sense,
33
00:01:38,009 --> 00:01:41,681
because I spent a lot of
time picking them out.
34
00:01:42,890 --> 00:01:45,429
Oh, wow. That's... that's rough, man.
35
00:01:45,776 --> 00:01:48,349
So, where are you taking
him to celebrate?
36
00:01:48,918 --> 00:01:50,352
What? Celebrate?
37
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,460
Yeah, he's one and oh!
38
00:01:52,485 --> 00:01:54,184
That's how Tyson got started.
39
00:01:54,209 --> 00:01:56,578
The kid's lucky he
didn't bite his ear off.
40
00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:01,372
Okay, well, in our house,
41
00:02:01,397 --> 00:02:03,764
we don't believe that
violence solves problems.
42
00:02:03,798 --> 00:02:05,833
Well, this didn't sound like violence.
43
00:02:05,858 --> 00:02:08,046
I mean, this was more
like self-defense.
44
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,042
Grover just did what he had to do.
45
00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:13,639
And what you have to do is
stop picking out his clothes.
46
00:02:14,671 --> 00:02:16,280
Look...
47
00:02:16,305 --> 00:02:18,282
Calvin, I'm not naive. When
I was in the military,
48
00:02:18,314 --> 00:02:21,460
I saw what violence does to
people, and it's never good.
49
00:02:21,577 --> 00:02:25,824
And please don't try to tell me
that jean shorts aren't cool.
50
00:02:28,007 --> 00:02:30,578
Look, if someone pushes you too far,
51
00:02:30,603 --> 00:02:32,738
at some point, you have to push back.
52
00:02:32,763 --> 00:02:34,750
Every man has his breaking point.
53
00:02:35,493 --> 00:02:37,373
Well, I disagree...
54
00:02:37,398 --> 00:02:38,616
and let me tell you why.
55
00:02:38,641 --> 00:02:40,109
Oh, looky there. I just reached mine.
56
00:02:47,452 --> 00:02:50,434
Really? You two playing
video games again?
57
00:02:50,459 --> 00:02:51,893
Yeah, we're playing Madden.
58
00:02:51,918 --> 00:02:53,981
Oh. In that case, I got next.
59
00:02:55,312 --> 00:02:57,325
- Yeah, man.
- What's the score?
60
00:02:57,350 --> 00:02:59,151
I'm up, 21-17.
61
00:02:59,176 --> 00:03:01,648
Oh, this game is over, man.
62
00:03:03,453 --> 00:03:04,855
Dad, there's eight minutes left,
63
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,513
I'm on his ten yard line.
64
00:03:06,538 --> 00:03:08,969
Not anymore. Reset.
65
00:03:11,523 --> 00:03:14,287
Hey, did you hear that Grover
beat some kid up in school?
66
00:03:14,312 --> 00:03:15,710
Yeah.
67
00:03:15,735 --> 00:03:17,817
Dave told me the kid was bullying him.
68
00:03:17,842 --> 00:03:20,477
Clearly, he didn't know Grover
lives in a black neighborhood.
69
00:03:23,292 --> 00:03:24,661
I live in a black neighborhood,
70
00:03:24,686 --> 00:03:26,154
and I never stood up to my bully.
71
00:03:26,179 --> 00:03:27,446
What? You had a bully?
72
00:03:27,471 --> 00:03:29,334
Yeah, for a long time.
73
00:03:29,532 --> 00:03:31,343
Well, you should have did something.
74
00:03:31,368 --> 00:03:34,072
You know, give him the old
two-piece and a biscuit.
75
00:03:35,262 --> 00:03:37,444
I couldn't. He was way bigger than me.
76
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:40,593
So? Look, if you let
people push you around,
77
00:03:40,618 --> 00:03:42,352
they'll do it to you
the rest of your life.
78
00:03:43,113 --> 00:03:45,275
You know what? You're right.
79
00:03:46,016 --> 00:03:48,684
Give me that!
80
00:03:52,157 --> 00:03:53,977
What the hell are you doing?
81
00:03:54,762 --> 00:03:56,437
Well, it's just what you said.
82
00:03:56,462 --> 00:03:58,529
- I'm standing up to my bully.
- Me?!
83
00:03:58,554 --> 00:04:01,501
Go on, Marty. Give him the
old two-piece and a biscuit.
84
00:04:04,926 --> 00:04:07,006
Look, Marty, I'm your father.
85
00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:09,812
- I'm not your bully.
- Oh, really?
86
00:04:09,921 --> 00:04:11,435
What about when my friends came over
87
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,408
to play Dungeons and
Dragons, and you pretended
88
00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:16,207
to cast a spell of
eternal virginity on us?
89
00:04:20,429 --> 00:04:23,341
It wasn't right, but he wasn't wrong.
90
00:04:24,737 --> 00:04:26,538
Look, now, I did that for your benefit.
91
00:04:26,563 --> 00:04:28,499
I didn't want you to be the weird guy
92
00:04:28,524 --> 00:04:30,378
that got picked on by the other boys.
93
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,079
It was last Tuesday, Dad.
94
00:04:33,696 --> 00:04:35,994
Oh, yeah, I remember,
because up until then,
95
00:04:36,019 --> 00:04:40,097
I'd never seen anybody wear
suspenders and a belt.
96
00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,318
Well, all I know is, you embarrassed me
97
00:04:43,343 --> 00:04:44,442
in front of my friends.
98
00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:45,527
Okay, Marty, look...
99
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:46,556
And-and for your information,
100
00:04:46,581 --> 00:04:48,304
it was not a belt.
101
00:04:48,364 --> 00:04:50,105
It was a sash!
102
00:04:54,313 --> 00:04:56,348
I know it's the weekend,
but I feel like
103
00:04:56,373 --> 00:04:58,561
we should deal with this
as soon as possible.
104
00:04:59,385 --> 00:05:01,676
Okay, then, I'll see you
in my office tomorrow.
105
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:04,262
And again, I'm sorry this
happened to your son.
106
00:05:05,694 --> 00:05:08,275
Your jerk-face bully of a son!
107
00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:12,813
You okay?
108
00:05:12,838 --> 00:05:14,923
No! I'm the principal, Dave.
109
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,453
My son isn't supposed to
be beating up other kids!
110
00:05:17,478 --> 00:05:20,303
Even if they are a
bratty little snot wad.
111
00:05:21,592 --> 00:05:23,159
Okay, yes,
112
00:05:23,383 --> 00:05:25,617
clearly, Grover was provoked.
113
00:05:25,642 --> 00:05:29,456
But I think we can both agree
that violence is not the answer.
114
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,300
- Of course it isn't.
- Okay. Good.
115
00:05:32,325 --> 00:05:34,357
But why would you buy him
those stupid jean shorts?!
116
00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:36,242
Ow!
117
00:05:38,752 --> 00:05:40,448
O-O-Okay.
118
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:43,813
Look, I know this puts
you in a tough position,
119
00:05:43,838 --> 00:05:46,543
- but maybe I can help.
- How?
120
00:05:46,568 --> 00:05:49,204
Let me take Grover to his
house, have him apologize,
121
00:05:49,229 --> 00:05:51,616
and diffuse the situation
before the meeting.
122
00:05:52,146 --> 00:05:53,747
That's a good idea.
123
00:05:53,814 --> 00:05:55,331
I'll come with you.
124
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,047
That sounds great.
125
00:05:57,904 --> 00:06:00,775
That way I can slash
his stupid bike tires!
126
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,929
Or, you know, maybe
you sit this one out.
127
00:06:10,469 --> 00:06:13,048
Tina, it's official.
128
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,268
You failed as a mother.
129
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,387
What are you talking about?
130
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,420
Marty. You made him soft
131
00:06:20,445 --> 00:06:23,711
with all your hugs and
kisses and bedtime stories.
132
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,522
Well, if you want
another bedtime story,
133
00:06:26,547 --> 00:06:29,339
you better think about the next
thing that comes out your mouth.
134
00:06:30,409 --> 00:06:33,321
Baby, the boy just told
me that I was his bully.
135
00:06:33,346 --> 00:06:34,995
Can you believe that?
136
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,925
- Hell, yeah.
- What?!
137
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:38,451
Tina, you're my wife.
138
00:06:38,476 --> 00:06:41,123
It's supposed to be me and
you against the kids.
139
00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:43,909
Look, babe, I know what
a good father you are
140
00:06:43,934 --> 00:06:45,717
and how much you love
Marty, but sometimes
141
00:06:45,742 --> 00:06:48,636
you go a little too far when
you make fun of his hobbies.
142
00:06:48,661 --> 00:06:50,178
I don't know.
143
00:06:50,203 --> 00:06:52,137
These kids today... they're just weak.
144
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,597
I mean, when I was coming
up, it wasn't bullying
145
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,756
unless something was cut, broken
146
00:06:56,781 --> 00:06:58,461
or set on fire.
147
00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,296
Oh, I know.
148
00:07:00,321 --> 00:07:03,231
I went to the principal's
office for all three of those.
149
00:07:03,997 --> 00:07:06,306
Marty's just a little
more sensitive than us.
150
00:07:06,331 --> 00:07:08,332
Yeah, I guess maybe you're right.
151
00:07:08,685 --> 00:07:11,086
But when he called me his bully,
152
00:07:11,303 --> 00:07:13,447
it just really hurt my feelings.
153
00:07:18,598 --> 00:07:21,123
Dad, do I have to apologize?
154
00:07:21,157 --> 00:07:23,699
Yes, Grover. When you do
something wrong to someone,
155
00:07:23,724 --> 00:07:24,948
you owe them an apology.
156
00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:28,400
You should give me one for
buying those jean shorts.
157
00:07:31,144 --> 00:07:33,154
Hi. Can I help you?
158
00:07:33,179 --> 00:07:35,427
Hi. I'm Dave Johnson, Grover's father.
159
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,830
Oh.
160
00:07:40,791 --> 00:07:42,112
Probably a good idea.
161
00:07:42,137 --> 00:07:44,168
It's, uh, cold and flu season.
162
00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:45,955
What are you guys doing here?
163
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,398
Grover wanted to apologize to Justin.
164
00:07:48,423 --> 00:07:50,391
And you think my son wants an apology
165
00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:52,559
from the little punk who
sucker-punched him?
166
00:07:53,787 --> 00:07:56,268
He's lucky Justin didn't kick his ass.
167
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,872
Do I still have to apologize?
168
00:08:03,222 --> 00:08:05,718
Yes. Uh, look, man, I
know that you're upset,
169
00:08:05,743 --> 00:08:07,534
but I don't think calling my son names
170
00:08:07,559 --> 00:08:09,523
is gonna make the situation any better.
171
00:08:09,745 --> 00:08:13,509
Hmm. Well, your situation's
about to get a lot worse
172
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,355
if you don't get out of my face.
173
00:08:17,373 --> 00:08:20,406
Okay, I... I think if we
both just stay calm...
174
00:08:22,444 --> 00:08:24,807
Now there's no need
to push me like that.
175
00:08:24,832 --> 00:08:28,162
Yeah? Oh, how about I
push you like this?
176
00:08:33,535 --> 00:08:35,633
Fella...
177
00:08:36,988 --> 00:08:39,902
You're about this close
to losing that apology.
178
00:08:42,908 --> 00:08:45,623
Hey, Marty... hold up.
179
00:08:45,844 --> 00:08:47,278
What?
180
00:08:47,345 --> 00:08:49,246
What are you doing tomorrow?
181
00:08:49,314 --> 00:08:51,718
Oh, I was going apple-picking
with some friends.
182
00:08:58,176 --> 00:09:00,278
Sounds delightful.
183
00:09:01,292 --> 00:09:03,744
But, uh, maybe when you're done,
184
00:09:03,769 --> 00:09:05,652
you can come back here,
and we can play some
185
00:09:05,677 --> 00:09:07,845
of that, uh, Dungeon and Dragons.
186
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,973
I never tried it, and,
uh, seems like fun.
187
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,261
Mama, get out here! I think
Daddy's having a stroke!
188
00:09:17,316 --> 00:09:19,022
I'm not having a stroke.
189
00:09:19,376 --> 00:09:22,164
I'm trying to show some
interest in your stupid hobby.
190
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,493
I'm sorry. That came out wrong.
191
00:09:26,553 --> 00:09:28,657
Are you serious? You
really want to do this?
192
00:09:28,682 --> 00:09:29,949
Absolutely.
193
00:09:30,329 --> 00:09:32,098
Okay. Great.
194
00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:34,591
- Well, thanks, Dad.
- Ah. All right. Ah.
195
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:37,881
Prepare thee for adventure!
196
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,517
Oh, my God, what happened?!
197
00:09:51,608 --> 00:09:54,987
Justin's dad got a little
heated, and he punched me.
198
00:09:55,241 --> 00:09:57,648
What?! Are you okay?
199
00:09:57,673 --> 00:09:59,143
Yeah, I'm-I'm fine.
200
00:09:59,303 --> 00:10:01,541
I can't believe he beat you up.
201
00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:03,123
No, Mom, he didn't!
202
00:10:03,148 --> 00:10:04,297
Dad totally kicked his butt!
203
00:10:04,322 --> 00:10:06,245
It was awesome!
204
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,821
Is that true?
205
00:10:11,846 --> 00:10:13,790
It wasn't what I wanted.
206
00:10:15,805 --> 00:10:18,107
But it was pretty awesome.
207
00:10:23,425 --> 00:10:25,074
You should have seen it, Mom!
208
00:10:25,099 --> 00:10:26,519
Justin's dad punched him,
209
00:10:26,544 --> 00:10:28,409
but then Dad gave him
a couple of these.
210
00:10:32,075 --> 00:10:34,049
And then Justin's dad went down.
211
00:10:34,074 --> 00:10:35,127
And then Dad said...
212
00:10:35,152 --> 00:10:36,433
Grover, please, go to your room.
213
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:38,373
No-no-no-no-no, that's
not what he said.
214
00:10:40,757 --> 00:10:43,519
There were way more curse words.
215
00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:45,763
Okay, you know what?
216
00:10:45,788 --> 00:10:47,553
Grover, Mom's right. Go to your room.
217
00:10:47,578 --> 00:10:50,665
Okay. Okay, I don't want any trouble.
218
00:10:53,209 --> 00:10:55,410
I can't believe you got into a fight.
219
00:10:55,435 --> 00:10:56,969
In front of our son?
220
00:10:57,079 --> 00:10:59,153
I know. I'm sorry.
221
00:11:00,512 --> 00:11:03,539
But if someone pushes you too far,
222
00:11:05,149 --> 00:11:07,109
at some point...
223
00:11:07,915 --> 00:11:09,638
you have to push back.
224
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,853
Every man has his breaking point.
225
00:11:14,994 --> 00:11:16,790
That's the most
ridiculous thing I've...
226
00:11:16,815 --> 00:11:18,769
Did you get that from Calvin?
227
00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,122
No.
228
00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:23,190
Okay, yes.
229
00:11:24,983 --> 00:11:27,418
Dave, I'm the school principal.
230
00:11:27,443 --> 00:11:29,210
Do you know how this makes me look?
231
00:11:30,438 --> 00:11:32,007
He started it.
232
00:11:34,812 --> 00:11:37,286
Really, Dave? That's your excuse?
233
00:11:40,102 --> 00:11:42,069
Told Grover that wouldn't work.
234
00:11:45,797 --> 00:11:47,331
All right! Let's do this.
235
00:11:47,449 --> 00:11:49,115
Hold on, Malcolm's playing, too?
236
00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:50,468
I didn't know you liked this game.
237
00:11:50,493 --> 00:11:51,573
I don't.
238
00:11:51,598 --> 00:11:52,710
But I want to be here
239
00:11:52,735 --> 00:11:54,352
when you flip the table and storm out.
240
00:11:56,737 --> 00:11:58,237
Look, I don't know the rules,
241
00:11:58,262 --> 00:12:01,215
but is there any way I can
feed him to a dragon?
242
00:12:02,342 --> 00:12:05,976
Well, all things are possible in
the Goblin Castle of Alkobar.
243
00:12:08,345 --> 00:12:10,829
Oh, boy, here comes the table.
244
00:12:14,268 --> 00:12:15,883
So, how long is this game gon' take?
245
00:12:15,908 --> 00:12:17,242
20 minutes? Half hour?
246
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:18,841
Oh, no. But if we hustle,
247
00:12:18,866 --> 00:12:20,549
we can do it in half a day.
248
00:12:21,517 --> 00:12:23,234
Half a day?
249
00:12:23,781 --> 00:12:26,716
Wow, that's almost like too much fun.
250
00:12:28,518 --> 00:12:30,150
Okay. So, let's get right to it.
251
00:12:30,175 --> 00:12:30,879
Okay.
252
00:12:30,904 --> 00:12:32,516
I already created
characters for you both.
253
00:12:32,541 --> 00:12:33,662
- Malcolm.
- Yes.
254
00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,948
You are Shadow Fang, a fighter elf.
255
00:12:38,987 --> 00:12:41,013
You're a little tiny-ass elf!
256
00:12:42,699 --> 00:12:43,805
Actually, Dad,
257
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,795
it's a common misconception
that elves are little.
258
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:47,530
They're actually known for being tall
259
00:12:47,555 --> 00:12:49,024
and lean and extremely dexterous.
260
00:12:49,049 --> 00:12:50,828
Oh. Okay. Well, in that case,
261
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,622
I guess I'm an elf, too.
262
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:55,262
It's too late. You a tiny-ass dwarf.
263
00:12:58,566 --> 00:13:00,649
And my name is Galumpkin?
264
00:13:00,674 --> 00:13:03,481
Yes! Galumpkin the Great,
king of the dwarves.
265
00:13:03,506 --> 00:13:04,841
You're an eighth-level barbarian
266
00:13:04,866 --> 00:13:06,468
who fights with an enchanted battle ax.
267
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:09,611
Well, all right! Okay.
268
00:13:09,636 --> 00:13:11,228
All right, so, who you gonna be, Marty?
269
00:13:11,253 --> 00:13:12,600
Oh, no, I'm not one of the characters.
270
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,314
I am the Dungeon Master,
271
00:13:14,339 --> 00:13:15,787
the all-knowing, omnipotent guide
272
00:13:15,812 --> 00:13:17,312
through your epic journey.
273
00:13:18,019 --> 00:13:19,919
And I get to wear this hat.
274
00:13:33,641 --> 00:13:35,108
Hey, there.
275
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:36,570
Oh, hi, Tina.
276
00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:38,972
Damn, Dave, what happened to you?
277
00:13:38,997 --> 00:13:41,277
Somebody whup your ass?
278
00:13:42,012 --> 00:13:43,446
No.
279
00:13:43,471 --> 00:13:46,034
I went to talk things
out with Justin's dad,
280
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:49,230
but he took a swing at me,
so I had to fight back.
281
00:13:49,438 --> 00:13:50,939
Wow, Dave.
282
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,542
I didn't know you had it in you.
283
00:13:52,567 --> 00:13:54,529
So, you won?
284
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:59,199
I totally kicked his ass.
285
00:14:00,050 --> 00:14:01,705
Well, good for you
286
00:14:01,730 --> 00:14:04,121
for doing something incredibly stupid.
287
00:14:06,472 --> 00:14:07,873
He hit me first.
288
00:14:08,789 --> 00:14:10,189
Oh, yeah.
289
00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:12,285
You know, that was
always my excuse, too.
290
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,889
Or "I didn't do it!"
291
00:14:13,914 --> 00:14:16,925
Or "Karen stuffed her own head
in the toilet!" I mean...
292
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,007
What was I supposed to do?
Just walk away?
293
00:14:20,032 --> 00:14:23,042
Look, I feel you,
Dave, but think about Gemma.
294
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,492
What if this gets out
to the other parents?
295
00:14:25,517 --> 00:14:27,883
This undermines her
credibility at work.
296
00:14:28,047 --> 00:14:30,048
She could lose her job.
297
00:14:30,958 --> 00:14:33,026
I know. You're right.
298
00:14:33,051 --> 00:14:34,751
I-I got to fix this.
299
00:14:34,776 --> 00:14:36,800
It's all right. I'm
sure you'll find a way.
300
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:38,982
Thanks, Tina.
301
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:40,576
Hey, so, what did Karen do
302
00:14:40,601 --> 00:14:42,317
to make you stuff her
head in the toilet?
303
00:14:42,374 --> 00:14:44,769
She gave me a "C" on a test.
304
00:14:48,463 --> 00:14:50,686
Okay. You finally emerge
305
00:14:50,711 --> 00:14:53,430
from the mountain pass into a clearing,
306
00:14:53,455 --> 00:14:54,861
where you discover...
307
00:14:54,886 --> 00:14:56,275
a stone giant!
308
00:14:56,558 --> 00:14:57,964
Damn it. Malcolm,
309
00:14:57,989 --> 00:15:00,429
I told you what made those footprints.
310
00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:03,362
Well, look, Pop, there's no way
we can beat a stone giant.
311
00:15:03,387 --> 00:15:05,579
Let's just backtrack
and go the other way.
312
00:15:05,618 --> 00:15:07,076
Are you kidding me?
313
00:15:07,144 --> 00:15:09,603
And go back through the
Swamp of Lost Souls?
314
00:15:09,628 --> 00:15:11,452
I'm not going back there.
315
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,480
Look, come on, Pop.
Let's just run away.
316
00:15:15,505 --> 00:15:17,570
No. No, no, man.
317
00:15:17,595 --> 00:15:20,031
We can beat this fool right here.
318
00:15:20,194 --> 00:15:21,608
You know what?
319
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:23,200
I drink a potion of strength
320
00:15:23,225 --> 00:15:26,163
while I cast a spell of confusion
321
00:15:26,188 --> 00:15:28,704
while attacking with
my enchanted battle ax!
322
00:15:28,729 --> 00:15:30,181
Yeah.
323
00:15:30,511 --> 00:15:33,813
Watch out, giant. Here come the pain!
324
00:15:34,926 --> 00:15:36,707
That's a one. You die.
325
00:15:38,553 --> 00:15:40,056
What?
326
00:15:40,081 --> 00:15:42,303
No, that can't be right, man.
I'm Galumpkin.
327
00:15:42,328 --> 00:15:44,910
G-Love! The Lump Dawg!
328
00:15:45,771 --> 00:15:47,538
I'm sorry, Dad. The dice don't lie.
329
00:15:47,563 --> 00:15:49,954
Well, we not giving up.
Ain't that right, Malcolm?
330
00:15:49,979 --> 00:15:51,743
Peace out, Lump Dawg.
331
00:15:54,283 --> 00:15:56,203
All right, thanks for playing, Dad.
332
00:15:56,228 --> 00:15:58,210
Wh-What do you mean,
"Thanks for playing"?
333
00:15:58,235 --> 00:16:00,660
You can't talk to the king
of the dwarves like that.
334
00:16:00,685 --> 00:16:02,469
Come on, run it back.
335
00:16:03,072 --> 00:16:04,916
No, you don't have to.
336
00:16:05,156 --> 00:16:08,308
I know I don't have to, but I want to.
337
00:16:09,423 --> 00:16:11,754
Yeah, but you two always make
fun of me for this stuff.
338
00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:14,027
Yeah, I know.
339
00:16:14,052 --> 00:16:15,663
But, uh...
340
00:16:15,895 --> 00:16:18,280
you know, sometimes I, uh...
341
00:16:18,684 --> 00:16:20,018
You know me.
342
00:16:20,043 --> 00:16:23,045
You know, I don't say
things that, uh...
343
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,079
You know what I'm saying?
344
00:16:28,104 --> 00:16:30,212
You know what I mean?
345
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,116
Dad...
346
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,674
that is the nicest thing
you ever said to me.
347
00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:44,117
Well, I meant every word, son.
348
00:16:45,492 --> 00:16:47,632
Look, Marty,
349
00:16:47,767 --> 00:16:49,390
look, I don't want to be your bully.
350
00:16:49,415 --> 00:16:51,875
I'm your father, all right?
And I love you.
351
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:53,741
- I love you, too.
- Come on, then.
352
00:16:53,766 --> 00:16:55,898
Come on, boy.
353
00:17:00,864 --> 00:17:02,849
I really appreciate you
doing this with me.
354
00:17:02,884 --> 00:17:04,408
It means a lot.
355
00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:06,007
Good. Good.
356
00:17:06,032 --> 00:17:07,537
All right, now, sit your ass back down
357
00:17:07,562 --> 00:17:10,029
and put your stupid hat on. Let's go.
358
00:17:17,088 --> 00:17:19,055
Thank you for coming
in, and please know
359
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,710
I take this situation very seriously.
360
00:17:21,735 --> 00:17:24,541
You should. First, your
kid assaults Justin,
361
00:17:24,566 --> 00:17:26,367
then your husband attacks me.
362
00:17:26,806 --> 00:17:30,000
Apparently, our family isn't
safe at school or at home.
363
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,484
I understand, but I assure you,
364
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,734
Justin and you are completely safe.
365
00:17:34,759 --> 00:17:36,126
Hello.
366
00:17:39,703 --> 00:17:41,366
Dave, what are you doing here?
367
00:17:41,391 --> 00:17:42,458
I'm looking for Ed.
368
00:17:42,483 --> 00:17:43,718
I told you he was crazy.
369
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,726
I just came to apologize.
370
00:17:46,751 --> 00:17:49,273
I never should have let things
escalate the way that they did.
371
00:17:49,298 --> 00:17:50,785
Well, you should have thought of that
372
00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:53,099
before you beat him with his own shoe.
373
00:17:54,817 --> 00:17:57,633
Okay, clearly, mistakes were made,
374
00:17:57,658 --> 00:18:00,050
and we all have a lot of healing to do.
375
00:18:00,075 --> 00:18:04,009
Really? Is anyone else getting
their stitches out on Friday?
376
00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:08,277
We didn't come here
377
00:18:08,302 --> 00:18:10,181
for an apology.
378
00:18:10,206 --> 00:18:12,783
We came here to tell you that
we're contacting a lawyer.
379
00:18:12,939 --> 00:18:14,144
And after we're done,
380
00:18:14,169 --> 00:18:16,529
you're not going to be able
to get a job anywhere.
381
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:17,854
Okay, wait a second.
382
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:18,906
Dave, let me handle this.
383
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,527
No. Your husband and your son
384
00:18:20,552 --> 00:18:22,513
are a couple of animals.
385
00:18:23,404 --> 00:18:24,799
"Animals"?
386
00:18:24,824 --> 00:18:26,971
You heard me. Let's go, Ed.
387
00:18:26,996 --> 00:18:28,205
Dave.
388
00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:30,466
Uh, we should hear her out.
389
00:18:34,099 --> 00:18:35,896
Here's what's gonna happen.
390
00:18:35,921 --> 00:18:38,246
Grover's going to be
suspended for fighting.
391
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:41,043
Justin's going to be
suspended for bullying.
392
00:18:41,068 --> 00:18:43,133
- But...
- Did I call on you?
393
00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:47,689
As a show of good will,
394
00:18:47,714 --> 00:18:49,541
Dave is not gonna press
charges against Ed
395
00:18:49,566 --> 00:18:51,091
for attacking him first.
396
00:18:51,116 --> 00:18:53,833
And in return, you won't
press charges against Dave
397
00:18:53,858 --> 00:18:55,914
for making Ed his bitch.
398
00:19:01,632 --> 00:19:03,026
That's it.
399
00:19:03,051 --> 00:19:04,960
I'm calling the board of trustees.
400
00:19:04,985 --> 00:19:08,563
Fine. And I'm calling the IRS
to report you for tax evasion.
401
00:19:08,588 --> 00:19:10,218
What are you talking about?
402
00:19:10,243 --> 00:19:12,511
I'm talking about how
your seven-year-old son
403
00:19:12,536 --> 00:19:14,637
is the registered owner
of a 20-foot sailboat
404
00:19:14,662 --> 00:19:16,507
named Take it Sleazy.
405
00:19:19,496 --> 00:19:21,442
It was all her idea.
406
00:19:24,195 --> 00:19:25,938
You know what?
407
00:19:25,963 --> 00:19:27,904
Things did get out of hand,
408
00:19:27,929 --> 00:19:31,172
but it sounds like you've got
the situation under control.
409
00:19:32,368 --> 00:19:34,358
Finally, we agree on something.
410
00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:35,831
C-Can we...
411
00:19:35,856 --> 00:19:37,833
You may go.
412
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:48,449
That was amazing.
413
00:19:48,474 --> 00:19:49,751
Thank you.
414
00:19:49,776 --> 00:19:51,321
How'd you know about the boat?
415
00:19:51,346 --> 00:19:52,800
Justin's not just a bully.
416
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,264
He's also a blabbermouth.
417
00:19:54,289 --> 00:19:56,802
And, word on the
playground, a bedwetter.
418
00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:01,923
I can't believe how well
you kept your cool.
419
00:20:01,948 --> 00:20:04,134
You know, apparently, Calvin was wrong.
420
00:20:04,362 --> 00:20:06,604
Not everyone has a breaking point.
421
00:20:06,629 --> 00:20:09,471
Oh, no. If she had said one
more word about you or Grover,
422
00:20:09,496 --> 00:20:12,217
that ho would've been on the flo'.
423
00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:20,844
Congratulations adventurers.
424
00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:23,358
You found the exit to the
Labyrinth of Despair.
425
00:20:23,383 --> 00:20:25,019
You emerge into the light.
426
00:20:25,044 --> 00:20:26,969
- Boom! Yeah!
- Yes!
427
00:20:28,153 --> 00:20:30,065
But your path has been blocked
428
00:20:30,090 --> 00:20:31,571
by a man-eating ogre!
429
00:20:31,596 --> 00:20:33,297
- What?
- Come on!
430
00:20:34,642 --> 00:20:36,653
What do you do?
431
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,615
I say we try reasoning with him.
432
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:40,750
Let's lay down our weapons
433
00:20:40,775 --> 00:20:43,217
and let him know that we come in peace.
434
00:20:43,681 --> 00:20:45,115
Good plan.
435
00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:47,079
Good plan. Like it.
436
00:20:47,485 --> 00:20:49,048
I'm gonna go ahead and kill Dave.
437
00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:53,859
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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